


Today Sucked

by lizzy_stardust_18



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Jared Is A Good Boy, M/M, all the usual trigger warnings, also he's gay and u can fight me on that one, although like u should really just expect there's gonna be depressing shit if u read deh fic, and it's just fluffy n cute, but instead of connor taking evan to the orchard he takes jared, it's basically ur classic deh fic, so's connor, take care of urselves, there's feels too, this is NOT a character study this is just goddamn fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 22:40:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14778621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizzy_stardust_18/pseuds/lizzy_stardust_18
Summary: “What the fuck are you looking at, Kleinman?” Connor snapped. “You here to laugh at me too? You came to watch me freak out?”





	Today Sucked

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me on tumblr if you want: https://lizzy-stardust-13.tumblr.com/

Jared Kleinman was not the type to cut class. His philosophy was that school would be terrible regardless of where you were in or out of the building, so you might as well suffer in class and avoid a phone call to your parents that would inevitably end in a lecture about “personal responsibility” and all that mess. You also might as well try in said classes so that your grades aren’t any cause for concern, even if doing your homework feels pointless because _when the fuck are you going to use logarithms in real life riddle me_ that _Mr. P._

 

But man, today just sucked _profoundly_. Jared didn’t think he’d be able to make it through yet another inane class period without breaking down, so instead of heading to his next class, he opted to take off down the opposite hallway, toward the computer lab. Maybe he’d be able to sneak a quick game on one of the computers, that is, if Mrs. Finch wasn’t supervising, because she monitored (ha, monitored) students’ use of the computers like a damn hawk.

 

He was startled out of this reverie by the computer lab door being slammed open by none other than Connor Murphy, who was clutching a piece of paper in one shaking hand and stomping down the hall, blinking angry tears out of his eyes. Jared moved out of Connor’s way, hoping he wouldn’t notice Jared standing there, gaping at him. He did.

 

“What the fuck are you looking at, Kleinman?” Connor snapped. “You here to laugh at me too? You came to watch me freak out?”

 

“Dude, no, what the fuck,” Jared said. “You think I’d wait in a hallway just to laugh at you? You’re not even funny.”

 

“Then what the fuck is this?” Connor growled, shaking the piece of paper at Jared.He stalked towards Jared and cornered him up against a locker. “This was you, wasn’t it? You put your little friend in there up to this? Writing some creepy shit about my sister so I’d blow up and you can laugh at me?”

 

“Okay, Connor, you need to calm the fuck down. I don’t even know what that paper is.” He put a hand on Connor’s chest to push him away from him, and he felt Connor’s heart jumping through the fabric of his shirt at a rate that no human heart should ever beat. Jared suddenly made the connection between his shaking hands, his heartbeat, and the pained look in his eyes that didn’t match the anger on his face. _Oh, shit._

 

Connor started sucking in air as though he couldn’t get enough breath and his face began to redden. Connor crumpled up the paper and twisted both hands in his hair, yanking sharply on it and making a small noise that sounded like a gasp and a sob combined. “Hey, Connor,” Jared said, his voice lacking its usual bite. “Look at me, okay? Take a deep breath, can you do that?” He grabbed Connor’s wrists and pulled them away from his hair, which seemed to get Connor’s attention. Connor’s skin was smooth, but his wrists felt oddly rough. His eyes snapped up to meet Jared’s, and Jared squeezed Connor’s wrists in a way that he hoped would seem reassuring. “Just breathe with me, alright?” He drew in a long breath and exhaled it very slowly. He did this several more times until Connor was able to mimic him. The redness faded from Connor’s face and he finally seemed able to catch his breath. Jared released his grip on Connor’s wrists.  

 

“Okay, now can you tell me what this thing is?” He said, pointing to the crumpled up piece of paper in Connor’s hand.

 

“It’s uh-it says ‘dear Evan Hansen,’ it’s like this letter he was writing to himself,” _a letter to himself? Who does that?_ “and it has some shit in it about my sister,” Connor shook his head and gestured weakly in the air, trying to explain. “I think he has like a uh, a crush on her or something?"  _Oh boy does he ever._  "And he printed it out and I was the only one in the lab and it seemed like...well, it seemed like a prank. To-to rile me up.”

 

“Okay, slow down. You think Evan was pranking you?” Jared put a hand on Connor’s shoulder, and surprisingly, Connor didn’t jerk away or push him off. “I mean, I don’t know what he wrote in that weird sex letter, but I’ve known the guy for years and he doesn’t have a mean bone in his body.”

 

“Read it then,” Connor said and handed the note over to Jared. He unfolded it and read it slowly. He looked incredulously at the note and then at Connor and back to the note. This did not seem like a prank at all. This seemed like...Jared didn’t want to think about what it sounded like. _Evan, what the fuck._ “It looks like a fuckin’ prank to me,” Connor said. Jared scoffed in disbelief.

 

“Really? Have you actually read this thing? Cause it doesn’t look like he wanted you to see it, or for anyone to see it at all, for that matter.” He put the note gently back into Connor’s hand. “Read that with a level head. And quit being fucking paranoid.” Connor rolled his eyes at him but he read the note anyway, his eyes scouring over the page and his tongue poking out from between his lips as he focused on reading the note.

 

“Oh, God,” Connor said, dragging a hand down his face. “Oh my God, I’m a complete dick.” He tugged on his hair again, his eyes filling with tears.

 

“Hey, don’t do that,” Jared said, reaching out to stop Connor from pulling on his hair but stopping when Connor fixed him with a glare. He faltered, and Connor looked down at the ground, looking utterly dejected. “Connor?” Jared asked, his voice softer than it usually was. “You good, man?”

 

“Why the fuck do you care, Kleinman?” Connor snapped. “You just trying to see me freak out so you get more ammunition?”

 

“Dude, what is it with thinking people are out to get you?”

 

“I don’t know, maybe the fact that people are out to get me?” Connor’s lip curled into a snarl, but it didn’t reach his eyes. His eyes looked...well, they looked pained.

“Who’s out to get you?” Jared’s voice was oddly gentle, as though he was speaking to a feral cat that could scratch him at any time.

 

“A group of fucking kids. You,” Connor growled.

 

“Ok, I’m not out to get you, so let’s clear that up right now. Which kids though?”

 

“You’re always picking on me,” Connor said, looking puzzled. He was blatantly ignoring Jared’s other question.

 

“That’s my fucking,” Jared made a small noise of frustration. “That’s just my sense of humor, okay? Sometimes it makes people laugh and I think maybe they’ll wanna be my friend.”

 

“You’re kinda sad, you know that, Jared?”

 

“Wow, getting first-named by Connor Murphy, I’m honored. Which fucking kids, Connor?” He was trying not to raise his voice in frustration.

 

“It’s just a group of juniors. They think it’s funny when I freak out.”

 

“Names.”

 

“I’m not telling you their fucking names.”

 

“Why not? Why are you protecting them?”

 

“Because what difference does it make?” Connor tugged on his hair again. “It’s not like you’re gonna stop them from doing this shit.”

“Oh, try me.” Connor looked at him and tilted his head.

 

“Why are you acting like you care about this?”

 

“I need brownie points because I wanna be Student of the Month,” Jared deadpanned. “Come on, tell me their goddamn names so I can beat their asses.”

 

Connor let out a short laugh, presumably at the prospect of Jared beating anyone’s ass, and then he shifted uncomfortably. He fisted his hands in the sleeves of his hoodie nervously and averted his eyes from Jared. “It’s um...it’s Jacob Henderson and his crew?”

 

“I fucking hate those assholes. What did they do?”

 

“They thought it would be funny to see me lose my shit, so they photoshopped a picture of some porn or some shit and put Zoe’s face in it because they knew it would make me livid. They hid it in my locker and I ended up breaking the lock in anger.”

 

“That’s honestly not an unreasonable response. When did they do this?” Jared was surprised he hadn’t heard about Connor breaking his lock. Jared thought it would have circulated the entire school and been blown out of proportion like all of the other Connor Murphy rumors that the student body seemed to love spreading so much. Jared studied Connor’s face. He really didn’t seem like such a bad guy, even though the school liked to make him out to be a really scary person. He clearly had a lot of issues, but Jared suspected Connor got angry at himself far more than he got angry at others. Which was saying something, because Connor was a pretty angry person, from what Jared had seen of him.

 

Connor looked down at his feet. “Today,” he said.

 

“Jesus Christ, okay. Um, well, I will murder them in ritual sacrifice, just so you know. But uh, first off, are you okay? You look kinda like you’re gonna cry.”

 

“I’m fine,” Connor said. “Can um, can you let Evan know I’m sorry?”

 

“Tell him yourself, I’m sure he’s probably having a panic attack if you left him like that in the computer lab.” Connor winced, but he nodded, and at Jared’s direction, the two of them went into the computer lab. Which was empty. No sign of Evan anywhere. Well, fuck.

 

“He’s uh, he’s not here,” Connor said lamely.

 

“Really? I could never have guessed, seeing as I don’t have eyes,” Jared said drily. Connor glared at him. “Relax, dude, I’ll text him.”

 

_hey what’s up dude_

 

The response was almost immediate.

 

_Jared i fucked up._

 

 _how’d u do that evan,_ he typed, even though he knew the answer already. The three little dots remained for a minute before he got a response from Evan.

 

_I made Connor mad. Really mad. I was writing this letter to myself and it mentioned Zoe and now he thinks I’m a stalker._

 

“Hey Connor, do you think Evan is a stalker?” Connor’s face twisted up in confusion until he realized what exactly Jared was asking him about.

 

“No,” he said, “I mean, I don’t like that his letter mentioned my sister but you know, it seems a lot more like he just cares about her than that he’s being creepy.”

 

_he doesn’t think ur a stalker boi calm down. im with connor rn. he says ur ok. he just freaked bc some kids r being dicks to him and he thot u were one of them._

 

_Oh, is he okay? Can you let him know I’m sorry? I didn’t mean to make him freak out._

 

Jared showed Connor the text messages. Connor pursed his lips in thought. “Your friend is a sweet guy, Jared.”

 

“Yeah, don’t I know it. He’s too fucking good for this world,” Jared grumbled. He looked over at Connor, who looked extremely guilty and uncomfortable. “Hey,” he said. “How’d you even end up in the computer lab with him?” A flash of emotion shot across Connor’s face, and he grimaced.

 

“I was coming to apologize. I signed his cast and then I saw the letter.”

 

“Apologize for what exactly? What did you do to him?” Jared asked, his voice sounding more menacing than he’d necessarily intended for it to. Connor winced a little at his tone.

 

“I um. I pushed him earlier. To the ground.”

 

“You pushed him to the _ground_?” Jared’s eyes widened, and he pointed a finger at Connor and stepped into his personal space, growling as he spoke. “If you weren’t such a wreck, I’d deck you myself. You don’t get to take your shit out on Evan. If you so much as lay a finger on him again, I’ll fucking end you, Murphy, you understand me?” he growled. He knew he wasn’t particularly intimidating, but Connor stepped back anyway and held his hands up in surrender.

 

“I didn’t mean to hurt him, I promise.” Connor’s face softened. “I just didn’t realize he was so nice. I thought, since he hangs out with you he’d be more--”

 

“Like me. Got it,” Jared said shortly. He turned back to his phone. _he says ur gucci._ Jared paused before typing the next part of his message. He didn’t want to seem overbearing or like he was super concerned about Evan, but he had to know the truth one way or the other.

 

_also r u good? this letter u wrote is like. an evanescence album level of depressing._

 

_Can we talk about it after school? I’m in class right now._

 

_we r most definitely talking after school. ill bring snacks to your house._

 

_Thanks, Jared._

 

_no prob bob._

 

Jared turned his attention back to Connor, who still looked like he was about to cry. “Hey, how are you doing?” he asked gently.

 

“I’m fine,” Connor said. His voice was strained, as though he was holding back an ocean like the kid in that one story with the leaking dam.

 

“I don’t believe you,” Jared said, and Connor crumpled.

 

“Why did I flip out on him? Why do I flip out on Zoe so much? Why do I freak out whenever anyone does anything?” Connor tugged on his hair. “I’m such a fuck up, God I’m such a freak.” Connor began smacking the side of his head.

 

“ _Hey,_ stop.” Jared put his hands on Connor’s shoulders, which stopped him from hurting himself further. Connor looked at Jared with watery eyes, and Jared squeezed his shoulders. “You know what you need?” Jared said, letting go of Connor with one hand and pulling his keys out of his pocket. “A nice vacation. You and I are going on a trip to literally anywhere but here.”

Connor fixed him with a look. “You’re going to skip?”

 

“I mean, yeah, why not, it’s my last year and I already know it’s gonna be hell. And I know you’re gonna skip anyway, we might as well go somewhere together.”

 

“You’re not really succeeding at this whole ‘student of the month’ thing.”

 

“Blow me,” he said in response, which earned him a genuine laugh from Connor. He grinned and jerked his head in the direction of the stairs. “Come on, man. Let’s go.” Connor nodded and they walked together down the stairs and out of the building. They managed to make it into the parking lot without being spotted by a teacher, and Jared was fairly certain by then that they were going to be able to get away with skipping with relatively few hitches. Jared clicked the remote on his keys to unlock his car. “All aboard the Kleinmobile,” he said, which caused Connor to snort and shake his head in response.

 

“All right,” he said, adjusting himself in his seat and checking to make sure Connor had buckled himself in, “where do you wanna go?” Connor bit his lip and then looked up at Jared, looking almost guilty.

 

“Well, um, there’s this ice cream place. It’s called A La Mode. I used to go there with my family all the time and, well...” he looked sheepish.

 

“A La Mode it is. Can you put it into the GPS?” Connor nodded and set it the directions to the place on Jared’s phone. Jared pulled out of the school parking lot and wordlessly began to follow the directions. Connor kept looking over at him as if to initiate conversation, but neither of them seemed to know how to start talking, so they drove in silence. Jared pursed his lips and glanced surreptitiously over at Connor, looking him up and down. He was hunched over, as if preparing to defend himself from an oncoming attack from somewhere. He was fidgeting with his fingers, and looked ready to bolt the second he got out of the car. It would be irritating if Jared didn’t feel so oddly concerned for him.

 

“Hey, you alright?” he asked him, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. Connor nodded, but Jared was unconvinced. “Let me know if something is wrong, okay? I don’t need you,” he gestured vaguely, “freaking out on me again.” Connor huffed.

 

“I’ll be okay. I just need my goddamn ice cream.” Jared snorted.

 

“You and me both, dude. You and me both.” Jared eventually pulled into the parking lot by a tiny little ice cream shop. He was pleased to see the tension relax a little from Connor’s shoulders. He really seemed to like this place. Connor got out of the car, smiling a little, and Jared couldn’t help but notice he was kind of cute when he was happy. There was something freer and more alive about him in this place, and Jared wanted to see more of this side of him. They made their way inside and Connor offered to pay for the ice cream since Jared drove. “Suck a giant giraffe cock,” was all Jared said in response, pulling out his wallet. He glanced over at Connor and saw him trying to suppress a grin, which he continued to do when he ordered his own ice cream and Jared began to rib him about it.

 

“You’re really getting that shit with sprinkles?”

 

“Never get between a man and his sprinkles, Kleinman.”

 

“That’s the girliest fucking ice cream order ever. Strawberry with whipped cream, sprinkles, and a cherry on top? Might as well add a couple unicorns to top it all off.”

 

“We’re getting ice cream, I doubt the order really has a bearing on our collective masculinity.”

 

“You’re gonna look like a girl with that ice cream cone, I’m telling you.”  

 

“My hair already makes me look like a girl, honey.”

 

“Did you just call me honey?”

 

“Fuck you.”

 

Their orders were prepared and they sat down at a booth, enjoying their respective ice cream cones.

 

“You know this really isn’t bad, Jared, you should try it sometime.”

 

“I’m sticking to my Rocky Road, thank you very much.”

 

“Whatever you say, fragile masculinity.” Connor winked and Jared glared at him before leaning over and slurping a bit of ice cream off of the top of Connor’s cone.

 

“Hey, Jared, what the fuck!” Connor cried out. “You don’t just eat my ice cream, I just licked that shit!” Connor pouted. “Now there’s Jared germs all over my cone.”

 

“Oh, screw you.” Jared considered the taste of the ice cream. He conceded that it wasn’t bad. It was fruity and sweet, which he couldn’t complain about necessarily. He decided he liked messing with Connor, though.

 

“You can try some of mine, too, if you want.” Jared held out his cone, and Connor’s eyes darted from Jared’s cone to his face. He shrugged and leaned over and licked a little bit of Jared’s ice cream. A droplet of it ended up on his chin, and Jared tried not to stare, but it was a little distracting. He reached over and wiped it off of Connor’s face with his thumb, trying not to think about how soft Connor’s skin was. Connor froze and stared at Jared.

 

“You had a little,” he said, gesturing to his own face to justify what he just did. His face burned, and he hoped Connor couldn’t tell just how embarrassed he was. Connor considered him for a moment before shrugging and returning to his hellish ice cream cone. They finished their ice cream without any more awkward moments like that one, and they sat and talked for a while before Connor stood up.

“Thank you,” Connor said stiffly, “for taking me here.”

 

“Yeah, no problem. Hard to refuse a man who just wants to indulge in some girly-ass ice cream, y’know?” Jared grinned. “Seriously, don’t worry about it. Do you want me to take you home now?” Jared gestured towards the car. He didn’t really want to take Connor home yet, he was actually enjoying spending time with him, but he didn’t say that out loud.

 

“Actually, um,” Connor shifted uncomfortably, “I was wondering if you would want to go somewhere else with me?” He looked up at Jared hopefully, and Jared felt an unexpected flutter of something in his chest.

 

“Sure,” he said, trying to sound nonchalant. He stood up and stretched his arms upward. “Where are you trying to go?”

 

“There’s this uh, this abandoned apple orchard near here. I go there sometimes when I’m in a bit of a rough spot. It helps me clear my head. I was wondering if you would want to go there.”

 

“An abandoned apple orchard?”

 

“If you think it’s stupid, you can say it.”

 

“No, I don’t think it’s stupid. Just didn’t think you were that kinda guy, is all.”

 

“What kind of guy would that be?” Connor asked, narrowing his eyes.

 

“An orchard kinda guy. That sounds like it’d be more up Evan’s alley.”

 

“I mean I could take _him_ instead if you don’t wanna go.” Connor tensed up, and Jared rolled his eyes at him.

 

“Connor, don’t be an idiot. I want to go.” Connor seemed to relax a bit at that, and he beamed brilliantly at Jared. Jared’s stomach flipped over.

 

“Alright, I’ll show you the way,” he said, grinning. They made their way back into the car, and Connor explained that this place would be hard to find using the GPS, which prompted Jared to make a joke about liminal spaces, and the two of them launched into a discussion about whether or not cryptids were real.

 

“I’m just saying, if Bigfoot’s out there, he’s gonna be hung like the gallows.”

 

“Jared, that’s the worst way to say someone or something has a big dick I’ve ever heard anyone say.”

 

“Am I wrong? You know what they say about guys with big feet, and Bigfoot has the biggest feet of all of them?”

 

“You know what, Jared, if I didn’t think you were personally sent to torment me before, I’d start thinking that now.”

 

“You’re just upset because I’m right.”

 

“I really hate you sometimes.” Jared blew him an obnoxiously sarcastic kiss and Connor scowled. They pulled up near the gates of the abandoned orchard, and Connor stepped eagerly out of the car. “Here we are!” he said excitedly. Jared didn’t think he’d ever seen Connor this enthusiastic about anything.

 

“Uh, how are we going to get into this place?” he asked.

 

“We’re gonna climb this bad boy,” Connor said, pointing to the gate with a devilish grin on his face. “Don’t look at me like that, the police aren’t gonna find us. No one comes out here except me and sometimes Zoe. But uh, never at the same time,” he added, with a small trace of sadness in his tone.

 

“Connor, if you really expect me to climb that fucking gate…” he began, but Connor was already hoisting himself up over the gate. Jared sighed. Well, he wasn’t going to be outdone by Connor Murphy of all people, even if he was dreading having to climb that gate. He rolled up the sleeves of his flannel and began to climb, with significantly less ease than Connor, who was currently sitting on the very top of the gate with a serene expression on his face.

 

“You need a little help down there?” Connor asked, his feet dangling from the top rung of the gate.

 

“Nah, I’m still the rope course champion at my summer camp, I can climb this thing no problem,” he said, lifting himself up to Connor’s level.

 

“Really? Didn’t peg you for the outdoorsy type. Thought you’d be more of a ‘body-by-world-of-warcraft kinda guy.’”

 

“I deserved that one, didn’t I?”

 

“Just a little.”

 

“You still suck.”

 

“You swallow.”

 

“Only if you’re paying.”

 

“Whore.”

 

“You kiss your mother with that mouth?”

 

“No, but I kiss yours.”

 

“Thought you were gay, dude.”

Connor’s shoulders hunched. “Was it really that obvious?”

 

“I mean, not really? I guess I just have really good gaydar?” Jared tried to play it off. “I mean, I was just trying to make a joke, man. I don’t actually judge you. I have no problems with gay people.”

 

“Thanks for the support, Kleinman.” Connor rolled his eyes. He looked like he was back to his defensive mode, and Jared felt a pang in his chest.

 

“Ouch, back to last names?”

 

“Let’s just get off this damn gate.” They climbed down from the gate and Connor led Jared into the orchard. It was a beautiful place, he had to admit. The sunlight streaming in through the trees created intricate patterns on the ground below their feet, and Jared realized with a jolt that if he ever went on a date, this would probably be where he’d go. He looked over at Connor and felt his stomach turn over. Connor was a vision out here, with the sun turning the top of his head a golden color, as though he had a halo. His head was tilted upwards and his eyes were half-closed as he enjoyed the warmth of the sun on his face, and Jared felt his breath hitch while looking at him. Jared had to admit, from an objective standpoint, Connor was beautiful in the sunlight.

 

Thankfully, Connor didn’t notice him staring, and they meandered their way through the orchard without a hitch. Eventually, Connor found a specific tree and beckoned Jared over to it. “This is my favorite one,” he said, “this is where we used to have all of our picnics. Zoe and I carved our names into it when we were little. The carving’s almost gone now but it said ‘Z and C, B-F-F-S for eternity.’” His expression darkened, and he leaned against the tree and hid his face from Jared. “That was before I fucked everything up,” he said, his voice hollow. Jared felt lost. He didn’t know what to say in these sorts of situations. He put a tentative hand on Connor’s shoulder.

 

“Hey man, I’m sure it’s not all ruined,” he said, trying to keep his tone light. Connor shook his head.

 

“You have no idea about even the fucking half of it,” he said, his voice raw. “I ruined everything between us. She fucking hates me now, and I deserve every bit of her hatred.” Jared could tell he was about to cry, and his stomach churned. He squeezed Connor’s shoulder.

 

“Well, maybe it’s still salvageable. I mean, it’s not like either of you are dead, you still have time and the ability to fix it. And hey, you said the carving was almost gone, but not completely gone, right?” Connor turned to him, and to his horror, Jared saw the tears welling up in his eyes even more intensely than they likely had been before. Connor let out a sob and pulled Jared close to him, wrapping his arms around him and crying into his shoulder.  _Well, fuck._ Jared's intention had been to keep Connor from crying, not to bring on the waterworks even faster.  _Go me,_ he thought. 

 

“Connor? You okay?” He awkwardly patted Connor’s back. He really didn’t know how to comfort people in these situations. Mostly because no one ever came to Jared for comfort.

 

“You have no idea, Jared,” he gasped, “w-what I wanted to do. What I was planning to do. God, if you hadn’t found me when you did,” his body was wracked with a fresh set of sobs. The gravity of what Connor was saying hit Jared, and he wrapped his arms around Connor in earnest.

 

“Connor, what the fuck,” he breathed. “Why, why, why would you do that?” he asked him.

 

“W-why not? No one’s gonna notice if I…” Connor couldn’t finish his sentence. Jared squeezed him.

 

“Hey stop that, I can think of at least five people off the top of my head who would notice and care if you were gone.”

 

“Really?” Connor pulled away, looking quizzically at Jared.

 

“Yeah, I mean for starters, Alana Beck, she thinks you’re pretty great, mostly because you don’t tell her to shut up or give her the silent treatment when she talks to you.” He grabbed one of Connor’s hands, which was balled up into a loose fist. He pushed up on Connor’s index finger so that he would extend it outwards, pointing at Jared. “So that’s one person. Then there’s Evan, cause he’s full of sunshine and would most definitely care if you were gone.” He pressed up on Connor’s middle finger so he extended two fingers outwards. “Two.”

 

Connor regarded him thoughtfully. “You really care about Evan, don’t you?”

 

Jared snapped his head up to look at Connor, and then he nodded slowly. “Yeah, I mean, he’s like a brother to me, you know?”

 

Connor quirked up one eyebrow. “You sure your feelings about him are brotherly? Cause the way you act about him, I wouldn’t be surprised if you were in Narnia.”

 

“I am not 'in Narnia,' alright? I just don’t tell a lot of people I’m gay.” He looked down at the ground. “I don’t have feelings for Evan anymore. I used to agonize over him, it used to break my heart whenever he’d talk about your sister, but now I just accept that he’s a part of my life and he’s never gonna be mine that way. Plus with how he talks about Zoe, it’s way too cute to be jealous over him. I want him to be happy.”

 

Connor groaned. "You know, I think Zoe likes him back, I've heard her talking to her friends about a 'cute shy boy in a polo.'" 

 

Jared snorted. "That's Evan alright."

 

"Fuck, I'm gonna see a lot of him, aren't I?" He sighed. "Well, I guess there are worse people to have around. Like me for instance."

 

Jared looked up at Connor reproachfully. “Don’t be like that. Also don't try to change the fucking subject again. We were talking about people who care about you. I’m gonna add Zoe to the list of people who’d care if you were gone.”

 

“She’d fucking celebrate,” Connor said with a scoff.

 

“Shut up, no, no one wants to lose their fucking sibling.” He pressed up on Connor’s ring finger. “Three.” He pulled Connor’s pinky upwards. “I’m counting your parents as one unit. Four.”

 

“Who’s the fifth?”

 

“Me,” Jared said, his voice unwavering. “I’d notice if you were gone. I’d care.” He tapped the knuckle of Connor’s thumb. Connor extended all of his fingers and stared at them as they fanned out in front of him.

 

“Didn’t you hate me up until today?”

 

“No, I just didn’t know you very well. Still don’t. Planning to change that though.” Connor offered him a grateful smile. He took Jared’s hand and squeezed it. Jared felt butterflies erupt within his stomach, and he grinned in response.

 

“Thank you,” Connor said. “For doing all this for me today. I um, I really appreciate it. I didn’t think I had any friends, but it uh, it seems I do. So, thanks.” Jared nodded.

 

“It was no sweat, man. You’re actually pretty fun to be around.”

 

Connor put his free hand on his chest. “Aw, I’m touched. That really touched me.” Jared rolled his eyes.

 

“Yeah, but where did it touch you?”

 

“I’ll show you on a doll later.”

 

“Gross.” The two of them fell silent, looking down at their enjoined hands. Jared squeezed Connor’s hand reassuringly, and Connor smiled softly. He inched a little bit closer to Jared and put a hand on his shoulder, and Jared wondered if he was going in for another hug, but then Connor put his fingers under Jared’s chin and lifted it up so that Jared’s face was pointed up towards Connor.

 

“Hey Jared?” he said, his voice no more than a whisper.

 

“Yeah?” Jared could barely find it in him to breathe. His heart was racing from Connor’s feather-light touch.

 

“Stop me if this is unwelcome,” he said, and pressed his lips against Jared’s. Jared inhaled sharply and then melted into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Connor’s waist and pulling him closer. Connor reached up with both hands to cup Jared’s face and deepen the kiss, and Jared responded by humming appreciatively against Connor’s lips. They eventually had to pull away for air, and Connor nuzzled his forehead against Jared’s.

 

“So you like me too, I take it?” Connor asked, a small smile gracing his features.

 

“Yeah,” Jared said, grinning in response. “Yeah you’re pretty alright.”

 

“You’re such a dork,” Connor said, stroking Jared’s cheek.

 

“Oh, shut up.”

 

“Make me.”

 

“Gladly.” Jared tugged him in to kiss him again. He knew the day would eventually catch up to him, knew that he’d eventually have to take care of Evan and explain to his parents why he had skipped school for the first time today, but he didn’t have to care about any of that right then. All he had to do right then was lose himself in the act of kissing Connor in the middle of this beautiful orchard with the sunlight shining brightly above them. He ran his hands over Connor’s back and smiled against his lips.

 

_Guess today didn’t suck after all._


End file.
